I was confronted as a young mother with the question "Can your children trust you?" It was in a Bible study on parenting. Those words were very thought provoking. They brought up more questions. Could my kids believe what I told them? Was I being an example of integrity and honesty?
Our children are born believing anything we say. If we tell them to jump into our arms, they do it happily and without hesitation. When we teach them certain things, they acknowledge it as truth. It is not until they catch us not being completely honest with them that they lose some trust in us. They begin to question things here and there. The wonder if we have been lying to them.
One of the best verses on honesty and integrity is 2 Corinthians 8:21: We are careful to be honorable before the Lord, but we also want everyone else to see that we are honorable.
This verse is saying that we need to be honorable which means in accordance with or characterized by principles of uprightness or honesty before everyone, even our children. We need to stand on the truth we find in God's Word. We need to realize the weight our words have on our children. Our children need to know that we say what we mean and mean what we say. They should be able to count on us to be truthful with them.
I have made many mistakes as a parent. I guess that is why I blog and share these thoughts with you. I want to help you not to make the same mistakes. My blog is not so much a how to do as much as a what not to do. I would love to save you some of the heartache I have struggled with in my life. At the age of 42, I feel I have some wisdom to pass along, not much, but some 😉
If you have already struggled in this area of honesty, know it is not too late. Go to your children and apologize. Let them know that you are human and that you fail. They will love and respect you more if you are open with them. They crave their parents to be transparent with them. They need to know their parents battle the same sins they do. This could be life changing for you and your family to allow your kids to see the "real" you!
This is one of the major issues I have with the whole Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy deception. For years we convince our children of these lies and then expect them to trust us after they learn the truth-?
ReplyDelete"...not so much of what to do, but rather what not to do..." I can so relate to this! In fact, as my husband and I have counseled our children going into marriage and after they are married, we've told them, "we may not be the best resource for wisdom of how to do it all right, but we can surely tell you what mistakes to avoid, because we've made them all and suffered the consequences". Sometimes the best wisdom comes from hard lessons. -Cheryl @The Long Way to Go
I agree with you. We do not choose to do the santa/bunny/fairy thing in our home. We didn't want our children to question our integrity over it.
DeleteThanks so much for your kind words!
You are so right- it's always best to be honest with our kids. Thanks for the encouragement!
ReplyDeleteGod bless,
Patty