It's so hard to be real these days. That is why I am finding it hard to post this, but I know that it may help someone out there so here it goes....
There was a time when I didn't feel like celebrating the holidays. I was in a dark place. Depression had overtaken my every thought. I was consumed with sadness. My mind wasn't in the mood to be "happy" about anything let alone celebrate.
As a Christian I felt like a failure. I thought I had lost my faith because of how I was feeling. That was a lie from Satan. I didn't stop loving Christ because of my depression. I was human and was taking on too much by myself. I didn't deal with stress well. I didn't ask for help when I was feeling overwhelmed and scared. My hormones were out of whack. These things didn't keep me from loving my Savior, they just distracted me from the truths I knew in my heart.
My biggest mistake was pretending it was all okay. I would put on my big fake smile and bluff my way through the activities of the day. No one knew how much I was hurting. It thought it was my duty to make everyone else happy even though I was so unhappy. Lying about my true feelings was only making it worse.
Depression is not something we should hide. If we do it can cause us to go to such a dark place that we think of the unthinkable. We ponder what would happen if we were not here. We wonder if others would be better off without us. It's scary to even type these words because I know there are those out there who are feeling this way right now. They feel desperate. They need someone to come along beside them and take their hand and help lift them out of the that deep dark pit.
Depression is not something you just get over. You need help from those who love you. You need support from those who care about you most. You don't need someone to say "Get over it", "Snap out of it", or "Just be happy".
In order for a person who is depressed to get through it, they need understanding, unconditional love and support. It didn't take a day for them to get into this state of mind and it won't take a day for them to heal. It's a long road with many bumps and ditches along the way.
If you are dealing with depression right now, I encourage you to find someone to talk to. Don't put on your mask and pretend you're fine. Be real. Allow yourself time to heal. Hiding your feelings will not make them go away. You need to be open and honest with your loved ones. Let them help you through this hard time.
If you don't have anyone you trust to share your feelings with, call a help line, a pastor, or doctor that you can talk with. I promise there are people out there who will be able to help you through this. You are not alone!!!!
It's hard for me to type these next few words, but if you are feeling so sad that you are contemplating taking your own life please call someone who can help you immediately like the suicide prevention hotline. I know it's scary to talk to someone you don't know, but they are there to help you and talk with you.
I am praying for everyone who is feeling depressed during this time. There is hope as long as you have breath. As someone who has been in that pit, I want to reach out to you and let you know you are not alone in this journey. Don't lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. With prayer, time and the support of others, you can make it to the other side.