I think after years of marriage it is easy to begin to take our spouses for granted. Life gets busy and we don't take time to enjoy each other. Those little things that made our love grow in the beginning are no longer being noticed. We become like two ships passing in the night.
If we want our marriages to thrive, we have to make time for one another. Time that is set aside to just talk and be together without interruptions. If we do not set aside time to this, we will grow apart. It will happen gradually. You won't even realize it until one day you wake up and realize you are laying next to a stranger.
I believe the days we are living in, it is possible to grow apart while sitting next to each other. Life used to be more simple. A couple didn't have the distractions that we have today. Cellphones, televisions, computers, and video games can become a source that takes the attention off of your spouse. You don't even realize they are longing to be the one that you gaze upon. Instead of looking into each others eyes, we are staring at a screen.
We need to turn off these diversions. We need to realize they are keeping us from showing our spouses affection. They are a tactic that Satan is using to tear families apart. Distraction is a wonderful way to destroy a marriage. We don't know what happened until it's too late. By the time we realize that we have been growing in opposite directions, we are so far apart that it is almost impossible to get back. Trust me it happens and when you look back you don't even recognize where things went awry.
Do you remember what made you fall in love with your spouse? You know those little things that they did that made your heart go pity pat? In order to continue to love our mates with the kind of passion we had in the beginning of our marriages, we have to be looking for those little things even after years of marriage. Here are just a few from my list.......
- He use to look into my eyes and his eyes would sparkle with anticipation.
- We would lay awake talking for hours.
- We would sit and play games and just enjoy one another's company.
- We didn't have much money, but we would find ways to date and just be alone with each other.
- He use to write me little letters (not texts) in cards for no reason except to say he loved me.
Do you have a list of your own? Would you like to rekindle those feelings of love and admiration? You know those goosebump moments where your love grew so much that you thought you would burst?
In order to succeed , we have to take the first step. Put down the distractions and begin to observe your husband or wife. Take your eyes off of the screens and look into the heart of the one who you married. Are they feeling alone? Do they feel like you care more for things than them? Are you so far apart that you don't even know each other anymore? Is there a way to restore the passion that was once in both of your hearts?
Here are a few things to begin today in order to rebuild your marriage:
- Kiss your spouse. Not just peck on the cheek, but a kiss that says I am happy to be married to you.
- Hug one another. Embrace like you did the day you first told one another that you were in love.
- Write him/her a note saying that you love and appreciate them. Leave it somewhere that will bring a smile to their face when they see it.
- Begin to do a couples devotional. A couple that prays together stays together.
- Set aside time to just talk. Share intimate thoughts just not superficial things.
- Be present. Pay attention.
- Sit down and plan a date night. It doesn't have to be fancy, just a time to get to know each other again.
If we keep allowing ourselves to be preoccupied with everything but our spouses, our marriage can fall to pieces. We need to be intentional when it comes to being a companion to our husband or wife. It is too easy now a days to get engrossed in other things and forget that marriages need our attention in order to grow and flourish. Otherwise those little sparks that ignited the fires inside us when we first married, will be snuffed out, and once a fire is extinguished it is hard to get it going again.