Just Being Us

Just Being Us
Family, where we can be real, and feel unconditional love!

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Marriage.... The Ultimate Roller Coaster of LIfe

     Ladies and gentlemen, marriage is not to be entered into lightly. My husband and I didn't realize the importance of this promise we made until later in our marriage.  It is a covenant between you and God.  It is lifelong commitment.  It is a promise that you must keep.  No matter how many loops, hills, and bumps you encounter, you must stay locked into your seat and brace for the ride.  This ride is an awesome experience and you will be thankful you stayed for the entire adventure.   You can’t let anyone or anything come between you. 

With the marriage vows, comes principles you need to follow.  Did you think of that when you were standing up there before God and your family and friends?  Let’s go over our vows.

I, ___, take you ___, to be my wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part: according to God's holy ordinance, and thereto I pledge you my love and faithfulness.

To have and to hold from this day forward means we must hold on to one another not others. We have to love each other through good and bad, through times of prosperity and times of poverty.  We must stand with our partner when they are in good health or are sick.  We must adore, appreciate and embrace our partner for LIFE!  Not just until we get tired of one another, or when things get hard.  This roller coaster of marriage is one that once you get on, you stay buckled up for the ride.  Cling to each other, scream together, laugh together, and enjoy the trip. 

Did you know that God wrote us a marriage handbook?  There are many verses in the Bible that tell us how to make this work. 

We are going to start out with the ladies.  What is required of us as wives?  God has it laid out for us in a few verses. 

An excellent wife who can find?   She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.  ~ Proverbs 31:10-12

As wives, we must be precious in the sight of our husbands.  He must be able to trust us and rely on us to have his back when things get bumpy.  We must build him up and not tear him down with our words.  He should never hear of things we say behind his back that bring him harm.  We need to be loyal and loving towards him. 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord ~ Ephesians 5:22

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. ~ Colossians 3:18

We must be submissive to our husbands.  That word always sends women into a tizzy.  This word doesn’t mean we are our husband’s slaves.  It means that we willing comply with what they ask of us.  We do this not for man’s honor but for God’s.  We are to obey our husband’s until it goes against God’s word. Ladies we must show our husbands respect.  They need to know that we honor them even when they are not around.  We must learn to control our tongues and attitudes.  Our response to them is our responsibility.  We can’t blame anyone but ourselves for our actions and words.  Pray daily that God will teach you to have self-control and a kind attitude towards your husband no matter what is going on.

 Now, I realize there are women who are in bad relationships right now reading this and thinking is this lady nuts?  I can’t respect a man who hits me or verbally abuses me.  To you ladies, I say this:  I pray for you every day.  I know it is hard to flee from a relationship like this but I encourage you to seek help and to get away from anyone who is harming you.  This post is geared towards couples in a loving relationship and that is why I am saying we need to be submissive to our God fearing husbands.  

     Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ~Genesis 2:18

     We are to be a helpmeet for our husbands.  We are here to encourage, uplift and help our husbands.  It's important for us to be there for them.  We can aide them in tasks and support them as they provide for our families.  When they are worn down, we can help them to rest and relax.  Give them your love and your attention. 

      I believe our main role as their helper is to pray for them day and night.  The prayer of a wife is powerful! When we pray it opens doors for God to do a good work in us. God wants to work in our marriages.  He wants to strengthen us as a couple.  He wants us to work as a team.  He makes our marriage strong!  

Now let’s move onto the husband’s role in the marriage.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. ~ Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. ~ Colossians 3:19

Men, you have to show love to your wife.  You must fill her love tank on a daily basis.  This means you need to first figure out what makes your wife feel loved.  Does she like gifts? Does she like hugs?  Does she like you to do the dishes? These are just a few questions you can ask yourself to figure out what makes your wife feel like you really love and care for her.  Watch her, study her.  See what makes her smile the most.  Go out of your way to show her how much you adore her.  Do not speak to her with harsh words.  Instead use words that will show you love her even when you are correcting her or asking her to do something.  You will get a much better response. 

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.  ~ 1 Peter 3:7

Always try to be understanding with your wife.  She is built differently than you.  She has different outlooks on things.  You and her think very differently, so take that into consideration when you have conversations.   Let her talk through things even when you already have a solution in mind.  Put her needs above your own. 

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.  ~ Ephesians 5:31

This verse is saying that men need to leave and cleave.  Men, your wives are now priority over your parents and siblings.  You cannot run home to them every time you feel things are not going well.  Your wife must take the place of your mother.  She will feel inferior if you do not make this adjustment.  Men you can honor your mother and father without putting them over your new household.  You are now one with your wife.  You must work things out as a couple. 

Wow, that was a lot to think on huh?  I even got a little convicted writing that.  As a wife, I have come a long way, but I know I still have a long ways to go.  Early on in my marriage it was all about me.  What I could get from it and how could this man make me happy.  Oh, was that a mess!  We fought like cats and dogs because we were both selfish. 

I can tell you today, we are learning that the more selfless we are, the happier we become.  The more we look for ways to serve each other, the less we argue and fight.  If you are in a marriage where the two of you refuse to serve, I would highly recommend for you to change your perspective.  Giving of yourself not only pleases God it pleases your partner and then they too become more willing to give up their selfish attitudes. 

Tonight, sit down and discuss ways you can make your marriage stronger.  Here are a few questions to get you started:

1.  How can I make you feel more love/respected?

2.   Are there areas where you feel neglected?

3.   Do you feel like I am too selfish, and if I am, what areas do I need to work on?

I am contributing over @ The Family Roadmap today.  Please 
come over and check out my post. 


  1. Marriage is definitely harder than we expect it to be. :) But that's okay; God's grace is always a step ahead of us! I'm grateful to be married to a very patient man. It makes it so easy to love him.

    1. I am so happy that God has given you a patient man :) May your marriage be a blessing to you both!!!