With the marriage vows, comes principles you need to follow. Did you think
of that when you were standing up there before God and your family and
friends? Let’s go over our vows.
I,
___, take you ___, to be my wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold from
this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and
in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part: according to God's
holy ordinance, and thereto I pledge you my love and faithfulness.
To have and to hold from this
day forward means we must hold on to one another not others. We have to love
each other through good and bad, through times of prosperity and times of
poverty. We must stand with our partner
when they are in good health or are sick.
We must adore, appreciate and embrace our partner for LIFE! Not just until we get tired of one another,
or when things get hard. This roller
coaster of marriage is one that once you get on, you stay buckled up for the
ride. Cling to each other, scream together,
laugh together, and enjoy the trip.
Did you know that God wrote
us a marriage handbook? There are many
verses in the Bible that tell us how to make this work.
We are going to start out
with the ladies. What is required of us
as wives? God has it laid out for us in
a few verses.
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of
her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of
gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. ~
Proverbs 31:10-12
As
wives, we must be precious in the sight of our husbands. He must be able to trust us and rely on us to
have his back when things get bumpy. We
must build him up and not tear him down with our words. He should never hear of things we say behind
his back that bring him harm. We need to
be loyal and loving towards him.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to
the Lord. ~ Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit to your husbands, as
is fitting in the Lord. ~
Colossians 3:18
We
must be submissive to our husbands. That
word always sends women into a tizzy.
This word doesn’t mean we are our husband’s slaves. It means that we willing comply with what
they ask of us. We do this not for man’s
honor but for God’s. We are to obey our
husband’s until it goes against God’s word. Ladies we must show our husbands
respect. They need to know that we honor
them even when they are not around. We
must learn to control our tongues and attitudes. Our response to them is our responsibility. We can’t blame anyone but ourselves for our
actions and words. Pray daily that God
will teach you to have self-control and a kind attitude towards your husband no
matter what is going on.
Now, I realize there are women who are in bad
relationships right now reading this and thinking is this lady nuts? I can’t respect a man who hits me or verbally
abuses me. To you ladies, I say
this: I pray for you every day. I know it is hard to flee from a relationship
like this but I encourage you to seek help and to get away from anyone who is
harming you. This post is geared towards couples in a loving relationship and that is why I am saying we need to be submissive to our God fearing husbands.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ~Genesis 2:18
We are to be a helpmeet for our husbands. We are here to encourage, uplift and help our husbands. It's important for us to be there for them. We can aide them in tasks and support them as they provide for our families. When they are worn down, we can help them to rest and relax. Give them your love and your attention.
I believe our main role as their helper is to pray for them day and night. The prayer of a wife is powerful! When we pray it opens doors for God to do a good work in us. God wants to work in our marriages. He wants to strengthen us as a couple. He wants us to work as a team. He makes our marriage strong!
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ~Genesis 2:18
We are to be a helpmeet for our husbands. We are here to encourage, uplift and help our husbands. It's important for us to be there for them. We can aide them in tasks and support them as they provide for our families. When they are worn down, we can help them to rest and relax. Give them your love and your attention.
I believe our main role as their helper is to pray for them day and night. The prayer of a wife is powerful! When we pray it opens doors for God to do a good work in us. God wants to work in our marriages. He wants to strengthen us as a couple. He wants us to work as a team. He makes our marriage strong!
Now
let’s move onto the husband’s role in the marriage.
Husbands,
love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. ~
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands,
love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. ~
Colossians 3:19
Men, you have to show love to
your wife. You must fill her love tank
on a daily basis. This means you need to
first figure out what makes your wife feel loved. Does she like gifts? Does she like hugs? Does she like you to do the dishes? These are
just a few questions you can ask yourself to figure out what makes your wife
feel like you really love and care for her.
Watch her, study her. See what
makes her smile the most. Go out of your
way to show her how much you adore her.
Do not speak to her with harsh words.
Instead use words that will show you love her even when you are
correcting her or asking her to do something.
You will get a much better response.
Likewise,
husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the
woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life,
so that your prayers may not be hindered.
~ 1 Peter 3:7
Always try to be
understanding with your wife. She is
built differently than you. She has
different outlooks on things. You and
her think very differently, so take that into consideration when you have
conversations. Let her talk through
things even when you already have a solution in mind. Put her needs above your own.
Therefore
a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two
shall become one flesh. ~
Ephesians 5:31
This verse is saying that men
need to leave and cleave. Men, your
wives are now priority over your parents and siblings. You cannot run home to them every time you
feel things are not going well. Your
wife must take the place of your mother.
She will feel inferior if you do not make this adjustment. Men you can honor your mother and father without
putting them over your new household.
You are now one with your wife.
You must work things out as a couple.
Wow, that was a lot to think
on huh? I even got a little convicted
writing that. As a wife, I have come a
long way, but I know I still have a long ways to go. Early on in my marriage it was all about
me. What I could get from it and how
could this man make me happy. Oh, was
that a mess! We fought like cats and
dogs because we were both selfish.
I can tell you today, we are
learning that the more selfless we are, the happier we become. The more we look for ways to serve each
other, the less we argue and fight. If
you are in a marriage where the two of you refuse to serve, I would highly
recommend for you to change your perspective.
Giving of yourself not only pleases God it pleases your partner and then
they too become more willing to give up their selfish attitudes.
Tonight, sit down and discuss
ways you can make your marriage stronger.
Here are a few questions to get you started:
1. How
can I make you feel more love/respected?
2. Are there areas where you feel neglected?
3. Do you feel like I am too selfish, and if I
am, what areas do I need to work on?
I am contributing over @ The Family Roadmap today. Please
come over and check out my post.
Marriage is definitely harder than we expect it to be. :) But that's okay; God's grace is always a step ahead of us! I'm grateful to be married to a very patient man. It makes it so easy to love him.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy that God has given you a patient man :) May your marriage be a blessing to you both!!!
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