Thursday's Thoughts on Marriage: Let's Talk About Submission

   

     When I was first married, I had no idea what I was doing.  I didn't know how to respect my husband.  As a matter of fact, I treated him like dirt.  I wanted him to meet my every need, and worse than that, I wanted him to know my needs before I told him.   It made for a rough marriage.  I honestly can't tell you why we stuck it out, except God placed an angel at our door and wouldn't allow either one of us to leave.  

      Adding children to the mix didn't help the issues.  It added financial burdens and conflicts in our parenting methods.  I felt we were totally incompatible.  I also felt resentful and angry.  He worked many hours when he was a mechanic in the field of construction.  I was left at home with the kids.  I was expected to care for them, deal with all the household chores and be the good wife.  

     It didn't make for a happy life let me tell ya.   We were not "ONE".  As a matter of fact we were the opposite of that.  We were growing apart day by day.  We didn't know how to fix it.  Our communication was mostly me yelling at him and him tuning me out.  

     So, how have we gotten to our 23rd anniversary?  GOD'S GRACE!  He began working in our lives.  It wasn't as a couple at first.  I believe He had to work on us separately before He could work on our relationship.  We began to talk to each other instead of at each other.  Communication was the key to healing this marriage.  It is still a work in progress.  We are always tempted to fall into our old habits, but since we have grown spiritually, we are able to see when that is happening and we are quick to stop it.  

      After being honest with you about my marriage,  I would like to speak to the wives for a moment.  I would like to address the topic of submission. Now I also want to say that this advice is for women in a marriage that is not abusive.  That is a totally different subject.  

     So what is submission???   Submission: to give over or yield to the power or authority of another.  In the Bible, wives are told to submit to their husbands, and husbands are told to love their wives as Christ loves the church.  

     So many women today are afraid of the word "SUBMIT".  I like how the New Living translation says "wives must accept the authority of your husbands".  This is not an option for us wives.  God is commanding us to give ourselves over to the authority He has given our husbands.  This is another reason why it is so important to marry a  man who loves God and allows Him to lead them.  In 1 Peter 3, we see that if we submit to our husbands, we are being a godly witness for Christ.  If others see that we are obeying God's word, they will be won over by that powerful testimony.  

      The other day, I was talking with a friend about this very subject.  She was hurting and said her husband didn't deserve her respect. I had to remind her that the Bible didn't say for us to respect our husbands when they deserved it, it just says do it!   However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. ~ Ephesians 5:33  Yes our husbands are told to love us, but that is their responsibility and rather or not they obey God's word, we are still responsible for our part.  There are no verses that says we are only required to do our part if our spouse does his.  

       When I write posts like this one, I always pray that it is received well.  I know this is a touchy subject.  I will tell you that if you do your part and walk in obedience, God will bless you.  If you have a spouse that is not right with God, your testimony is what God may use to bring him to Christ.  I want you to know that I pray for you everyday.  It is not easy to be the wives and mothers we are called to be, but having a close relationship with Jesus makes it easier.  He is our rock and our fortress.  If we are well tuned into Him by reading His Word and praying, He will be our guide.  

      I will not lie to you and say that I do not struggle in the area on a daily basis.  I have a strong personality that likes to lead, so this is hard for me.  I don't want to defer to anyone.  It is even difficult for me to relinquish control to God.  I have to pray about it everyday!  

      I want to  encourage us all  to make some changes today.  Make it a point to show our husbands respect.  Defer to him for decisions, never mock him in public or while talking with friends, always speak words of love and life.  Ladies we can do this!  Let's be set apart from the thoughts and actions of this world, and lead a life that is pleasing to the Lord.  

     Before I leave you today, I would like to give you an image to print for yourself.  It has the lyrics to a powerful song titled "Household Of Faith" by Steve Green.   I believe if we strive for a household that has faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and if we put Him first in all we do and say, we will be able to have a happy and godly marriage and family.  Here are the lyrics: 

   Here we are at the start committing to each other

By His word and from our hearts

We will be a family in a house that will be a home

And with faith we'll build it strong

We'll build a household of faith

That together we can make

And when the strong winds blow it won't fall down

As one in Him we'll grow and the whole world will know

We are a household of faith

Now to be a family we've got to love each other

At any cost unselfishly

And our home must be a place that fully abounds with grace

A reflection of His face

We'll build a household of faith

That together we can make

And when the strong winds blow it won't fall down

As one in Him we'll grow and the whole world will know

We are a household of faith 

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