Enjoy the Little Things

     I think after years of marriage it is easy to begin to take our spouses for granted.  Life gets busy and we don't take time to enjoy each other.  Those little things that made our love grow in the beginning are no longer being noticed.  We become like two ships passing in the night. 

     If we want our marriages to thrive, we have to make time for one another.   Time that is set aside to just talk and be together without interruptions.  If we do not set aside time to this, we will grow apart. It will happen gradually.  You won't even realize it until one day you wake up and realize you are laying next to a stranger.  

      I believe the days we are living in, it is possible to grow apart while sitting next to each other.  Life used to be more simple.  A couple didn't have the distractions that we have today.  Cellphones, televisions, computers, and video games can become a source that takes the attention off of your spouse.  You don't even realize they are longing to be the one that you gaze upon.  Instead of looking into each others eyes, we are staring at a screen.  

      We need to turn off these diversions.  We need to realize they are keeping us from showing our spouses affection.  They are a tactic that Satan is using to tear families apart. Distraction is a wonderful way to destroy a marriage.  We don't know what happened until it's too late.  By the time we realize that we have been growing in opposite directions, we are so far apart that it is almost impossible to get back. Trust me it happens and when you look back you don't even recognize where things went awry.  

       Do you remember what made you fall in love with your spouse?  You know those little things that they did that made your heart go pity pat?   In order to continue to  love our mates with the kind of passion we had in the beginning of our marriages, we have to be looking for those little things even after years of marriage. Here are just a few from my list.......

• He use to look into my eyes and his eyes would sparkle with anticipation.
• We would lay awake talking for hours.
• We would sit and play games and just enjoy one another's company.
• We didn't have much money, but we would find ways to date and just be alone with each other.
•  He use to write me little letters (not texts) in cards for no reason except to say he loved me.

       Do you have a list of your own?  Would you like to rekindle those feelings of love and admiration?  You know those goosebump moments where your love grew so much that you thought you would burst?  

       In order to succeed , we have to take the first step.   Put down the distractions and begin to observe your husband or wife.  Take your eyes off of the screens and look into the heart of the one who you married.  Are they feeling alone?  Do they feel like you care more for things than them?  Are you so far apart that you don't even know each other anymore?   Is there a way to restore the passion that was once in both of your hearts? 

        Here are a few things to begin today in order to rebuild your marriage:

• Kiss your spouse.  Not just peck on the cheek, but a kiss that says I am happy to be married to you.
• Hug one another.  Embrace like you did the day you first told one another that you were in love.
• Write him/her a note saying that you love and appreciate them.  Leave it somewhere that will bring a smile to their face when they see it.  
• Begin to do a couples devotional.  A couple that prays together stays together.
• Set aside time to just talk.  Share intimate thoughts just not superficial things.
• Be present.  Pay attention. 
• Sit down and plan a date night. It doesn't have to be fancy, just a time to get to know each other again. 

        If we keep allowing ourselves to be preoccupied with everything but our spouses, our marriage can fall to pieces.  We need to be intentional when it comes to being a companion to our husband or wife.  It is too easy now a days to get engrossed in other things and forget that marriages need our attention in order to grow and flourish.  Otherwise those little sparks that ignited the fires inside us when we first married, will be snuffed out, and once a fire is extinguished it is hard to get it going again.   

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Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. ~ Galatians 6:7-8

     As parents we have a responsibility to discipline our children when they are doing something that is wrong.  If we do not, we are not helping them grow into productive and godly adults.  God instructs parent to lovingly correct their children when they are sinning.  It is a duty we should never take lightly.  In our home we have rules and if our children make the decision to break these rules, they will receive a consequence.  I wanted to share some of our ideas that you can implement in your homes as well.  I wish I would have had more tools like this when my older children were younger.  I had no idea what I was suppose to do with them when they were misbehaving.  It is something I learned over the years and now would like to share with you.  

We use charts like in our home. I hope they can help you as well. 

If you want to print them just hover over the image and right click

then choose "save image as..." 

You can use our list or make one of your own. 

What is Your Child's Learning Style?

     If you would have asked me this question 15 years ago I wouldn't have understood what you were talking about, but after homeschooling 6 kiddos and reading tons of  books, articles and blogs, I have become very familiar with the term "learning style".  

      My children have fallen into every category over the years.  Most of the time a child will have a couple of learning styles that fit them well.  I would like to go over and explain each one and share with  you how we have been able to help our children learn more easily by knowing their learning style and implementing different ways of teaching so they could thrive.  

      Our first one to discuss is the Visual Learner.  These children learn well through seeing what they are expected to learn.  They love to look at pictures and experience things through sight.  These kiddos do best when we use chalkboards, whiteboards, flash cards, and media to teach them.  They love COLOR!!!  Our artists and creative ones,  are mostly visual learners.  

      Next we have our Aural or Auditory Learners.   These guys and gals learn best by hearing what is being instructed.  They love you to read everything out loud.   They enjoy audio books, lectures, and music.  In our home we have a couple that delight in listening to audio books and/or music while they are doing their seat work.  It actually helps them to focus better.  

       The third style is the Verbal Learner.   These learners flourish when they are directed by words.  They love to read and write.  They enjoy expressing themselves with speech or the written word.  I am a verbal learner so this is the one I understand best.  

        Number four is the Physical or Kinesthetic Learner.  These students learn by doing.  They love hands on activities to help them grasp what is being taught.  Kids in this category love to take field trips, working in labs, and doing projects that reinforce the lessons. 

            Next we have the Logical Learner.  Children in this division love math and logical thinking.  They love to work through problems.  They enjoy strategy games.  The logical learner will succeed when they are given a puzzle to solve.  Chess and checkers will be on their list of favorite games.  

          Sixth on our list is the Social Learner.  This type of child loves to be in a social setting.  They do best when they can work as a group.  They like being able to bounce their thoughts off  other people and get their input.  These are the homeschoolers who need to have social interaction in order to blossom.

           Last but not least we have the Solitary Learner. These youngsters savor working alone.  They accomplish their assignments with ease when they are left to themselves.  They ponder their capabilities and revel in working out things on their own.  These kids will do best when we show them what needs to be done, then leave them alone to do it.

  

              It is imperative that we watch and learn what type of learning style our child has so that we can improve our teaching methods.  They will be more efficient in their studies when we give them the correct tools to learn by.  No child is the same and we need to realize that when we are homeschooling.  We have to adapt to what fits them best.  

           Here are a couple of my favorite books on this subject.  Discover Your Child's Learning Style: Personalized Learning for Student Success by Mariaemma Willis is a great book with lots of practical ideas.    The other one is  The Big What Now Book of Learning Styles: A Fresh and Demystifying Approach by Carol Barnier.  This one will help you navigate to find out your child's learning style.  

             I didn't think this concept was important in my early years of homeschooling, but as a veteran, I see the need for it more and more each day.  We want our kids to achieve their goals and it is our job to give them the knowledge they need to attain them.  

Please come over to our Facebook page and participate in our 

21 Days of Godly Character for Christmas Challenge.

 Training In Godly Character

Meditating on God's Word

    Last year my husband bought me a journal Bible.  I was so apprehensive about using it.  I think it was because I didn't want to mess it up.  The pages were so crisp and clean.  It was just beautiful.  
    
     I have never been much of an artist.  It was not something I thought I would be able to do.  After a year, I decided it was time to dive into my new Bible and just go for it.  So what if it wasn't perfect {that's hard for a perfectionist to say}.  I had to set my feelings of inadequacy aside and remember what a journaling Bible is for.  

    It is designed  so we can mediate on God's Word.  It will help us to focus on what God is speaking to us through these books.  We don't have to be Rembrandt to make these pages beautiful with color and our thoughts on the scriptures.  We just need to remember that we do all things for the glory of God.  I love the verse in 1 Corinthians 10:31 ~  So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

     When I began to use my Bible journal, I was just writing some of my favorite verses out, but then I had a light bulb moment.  I could try to make these pages pop with color to outwardly show what my soul felt like when I was reading these amazing Words that God was speaking to me.  It was also very relaxing to sit with worship music playing as I drew out my feelings on the pages.  It brought a whole new perspective to my Bible study. 

      I know it's not easy for us moms to find time for this but it can literally transform your life.  My life can be really hectic and there are some days where I get into bed so exhausted that I am aching all over, and I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything, but I have found that to be a good mom, I have to be in God's Word everyday.  I have to be consistent in mediating on the scriptures or I feel like something is missing.  I am not as patient or loving.  I am easily agitated.  I am not able to function as a godly parent.  The Bible is our lifeline and we need to have it to live a life that is pleasing to Christ.  God wants us to lean on Him for the strength we need to accomplish the tasks He has given to us.

      I encourage you to get a journal Bible.  You don't have get fancy with it.  Just allow yourself to be real and honest as you fill the pages with your thoughts.  God speaks to us directly through His Word.  He wants us to remember these things He is teaching us. He wants us to share what we are learning.  What better way to do this than through journaling.  Even my children are beginning their own Bible journals.  My heart just leaps for joy seeing them in God's Word!!!

     Don't forget to come on over to our Facebook page and join us for the 21 Days of Godly Character for Christmas Challenge.   Training our Children in Godly Character

The 21 Days of Godly Character for Christmas Challenge

     Today we will be beginning our 21 day challenge.  Over the next few weeks, I will be posting one challenge each day on our Facebook page  Training Our Children in Godly Character.  Each challenge will teach a character quality and I would love for you to sit down and do them as a family. Our children are never too young to learn about generosity, love, hospitality, and contentment. 

      During the holidays we can get caught up in ourselves and what we want. This challenge is going to turn the focus off of ourselves, and on to others.  In turn we will be focusing on Christ because His ministry was all about serving and loving on others.  He wants us to love and care for others.  He wants us to encourage those who may be hurting and giving to those in need.  

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give,

 not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God

 loves a cheerful giver. ~ 2 Corinthians 9:7

       Our family has many great traditions during this time of year, but my favorite is following this challenge.  We sit down once  day and we work on the activities together.  My kids love seeing how they can be a blessing to someone else even though they are still young.  

        I pray this Christmas Challenge is a blessing to you and your families.  I hope you are able to participate and give of yourself and your time this Christmas.  

         Here is Day One of the Challenge......

Learning Can Be Fun & Educational

   

      Before you head out to finish up your Christmas shopping, I wanted to give you a list of great games and toys that are fun and educational.  Learning doesn't have to be boring.

     We love to play games in our home.  It is a time of fellowship and just good old fun.  The kids are learning reading, math, spelling, and critical thinking skills and they don't even know it.

       Let's get to that list....

• Monopoly:  teaches counting, money, and good financial planning.

• Scrabble:  teaches spelling, vocabulary, and reading skills

• Chess: teaches critical thinking skills.

• Yahtzee: teaches addition, subtraction and multiplication skills.

• Game of States: teaches geography of the United States.

• Risk: teaches strategy and critical thinking skills.

• Mastermind: teaches critical thinking skills

• Leap Frog Letter Factory: teaches phonics and reading skills.

• Connect Four: teaches strategy and critical thinking.

• Boggle: teaches spelling, vocabulary, and reading.

• Rubiks Cube: teaches problem solving.

• Checkers: teaches strategy and critical thinking skills.

• Candy Land: teaches counting and colors.

• Chutes & Ladders: teaches counting.

• Cranium: teaches drawing, sculpting, acting, vocabulary, problem solving, and reading.

• Tic Tac Toe: teaches problem solving and critical thinking.

     What I love about these games are that they are wholesome fun.  They help our children learn life lessons like how to be humble when we win, and how to behave when we lose.  We use our imaginations and our minds instead of just mindlessly looking at a TV or computer screen.   We interact.  We talk. We laugh.  We enjoy one another company.  

It's Okay......

     It wasn't until recently, that I realized that I have pushed myself so much over the years, that I am having physical and emotional signs of exhaustion.  My body has sent me warning signals for years, but I chose to ignore them and keep pressing on.  Lately it has become more and more apparent that I have let myself go for too long. Putting myself on the back-burner has worn me to a frazzle.  

      I always thought that taking care of my husband and children was more important than taking care of me, and in a way that is true.  The only problem with this thought pattern is I have depleted my body. What good am I if I am running on empty?  It only makes for a very irritable, frustrated, and tired mama.  We can't expect to give and give if we never replenish the tank.  

      Why do we do this to ourselves?  Is it because we want to be Supermoms and Superwives?  Is it because we want to please everyone? Could it be because we feel it is our duty and we just can't risk disappointing everyone?  

     I know it is impossible to do it all, so why did I try so hard to do it?  Physically it is taxing on my body and emotionally it is draining.  By the end of the day I felt like a whipped pup. I had also been feeling like a doormat lately because don't even have the energy to take up for myself.  I just did what was asked of me like a robot.  

    

     So, what did I do to remedy the issue? I took off my cape.  I have decided it's okay for me to take care of me.  If I don't do this, I won't be able to take care of anyone.  I need to set time aside for me to just sit, relax, breathe, and not think about my to-do lists. I need time to pray and meditate on the scriptures without interruptions.  I need time to refill my tanks so I can have enough strength and energy to extend my help to my family and friends.

      My only dilemma is the fact that I have trouble keeping the cape off.  I am a perfectionist.  Over the years, I have been learning to be more lax in my expectations, but the perfectionist in me finds it way to the surface and it is in those moments I grab that cape and try to do it all again.  I know I need to let God work things out for me, but that part of me that wants to control everything also rears its ugly head from time to time.  I am a work in progress. 

      Do you need to hang up your cape?  Do you need to take time for yourself?  I encourage you to get that time and let your body rest before you end up as overwhelmed and exhausted as I was.  I still have days I need to take extra time to recuperate because my body has not caught up yet. It took years to get into this condition and will take me years to recover. I don't want you to go through this too.  

      One more thing....If you are a new mama, please don't hesitate to ask others for help.  This time in your life is amazing, but also very draining.  I wish I would have had more help during my kiddos first weeks of life.  

       

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