Today, I am going to be sharing my experience with anxiety. It is not easy to open up about such a private issue, but I feel like it may help other mamas dealing with similar issues. I want to encourage others who may be suffering in silence. You are not alone.
About three years ago, my world was turned upside down. So many changes were occurring that my head was spinning. My body didn't take the stress very well. I started having severe panic attacks. I didn't want to leave my bedroom for days at a time. I couldn't control my thoughts. No matter what I tried, I would come back to feelings of sadness and fear.
It wasn't long until I felt like a failure. I couldn't be the mom, wife, or homeschooling teacher I once was. All I wanted to do is sit in my bed crying. I wanted to change things, but I had no idea what to do. The harder I tried, the more anxiety I felt. I was in a pit and no one could help me out of it. I had to figure out what was going on. I began researching what could be causing this.
I soon found out that my body was completely depleted from all the stress I had endured over my life. Even as a child, I didn't have a stress-free life. My mom was sick from the many heart surgeries she had, my dad got Alzheimer's when I was just a teen. I had brothers and sisters who were suffering from drug and alcohol addictions. I had to grow up at an early age. When I was old enough to marry, that is exactly what I did. Then came our children. Three within 3 years. Being a young woman, my body dealt with things better than when I got older.
By the time I was 40 years old, I had six children here with me, and one in heaven. I was trying to do too much. I always put my needs on the back burner and it was taking its toll. I didn't realize what was going on until I began having the severe anxiety issues.
Normal life changes and challenges were not so normal to my body. Our oldest daughter had moved out, our oldest son was diagnosed with Type-1 diabetes, and a few other little things were happening as well. This was too much for me to handle, yet I sure tried. My body was refusing to cooperate anymore. I began having one panic attack after another. I couldn't control my body anymore. Things got worse when I had people giving me advice about a situation they had no business giving advice on. I was even told I was having these issues because I wasn't serving God the way I should.... this only pushed me deeper into that pit.
During my research, I found out that I could get help for these attacks. First I had to allow God to show me that I wasn't sick because I was not obeying Him. I was sick because I was failing to take care of the body He had given me. I must begin healing my body by taking care of myself. All those years, I had spent meeting the needs of others, was causing more harm than I realized. For years I didn't sleep or eat right. I didn't take vitamins on a regular basis. I was suffering because of bad choices. I had to get my body back on track.
I started by letting go of a lot of things. I had to let God guide me in doing what He was calling me to do instead of everything I thought I was supposed to be doing. Even good things can cause stress if we are attempting to do too much. I also started using essential oils, vitamins, minerals, and herbal supplements to help me build my body back up and be able to handle stress without having anxiety attacks. It took a few months, but the everyday panic attacks did begin to subside to only a couple a week. When I began learning more techniques to cope with stress like breathing exercises and focusing on positive thinking, they got even better.
I have also learned to delegate. I can't do everything on my own. I can ask for help!!! I am not required to run myself ragged in order to look busy all the time. I can take time to rest. I can say no. It's OKAY!!!!!
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Bible Journaling is a great way to help you relax. Spending Time with the Lord is always a great way to help relieve stress and anxiety. |
I'm not going to lie and say I have it all together now. I have days I slip back into my old way of dealing with things and my stinking negative thinking, but it's better than before. I catch myself now and stop things before they get out of control. I stop and pray a lot during my day. I ask the Lord for His strength instead of trying to handle things on my own. I am very good about taking my supplements and using my oils on a daily basis. I am taking better care of me now. It has changed my life for the better in many ways. This version of me is more relaxed and calm. I don't freak out at every little thing like I did before. I am happier!!!!
As I finish this post, I want you to know that if you are suffering like I was, please don't suffer in silence. Please talk with someone. Let them know what is going on. You don't have to go through this alone. There is help for you!!! It may look different than what I did to get better and that's okay!!! The important thing is for you to feel better. I will be praying for everyone reading this post and I am here if you need to talk.