Every now and then our kiddos get out of sorts. They forget every single ounce of character training and they rebel against our rules. It's never a pretty site let me tell ya.
As parents it is our job to train and correct them. When they choose to forget what we have taught them about godly character, good manners, and acceptable behaviors, we have to correct them. I am not going to tell you how you should correct your child, I am just going to share what we do in our home.
We have a behavior chart hanging in our pantry. This chart helps remind our children to get back on track when their conduct is unacceptable. Each morning they begin on start. They get one warning before they begin losing privileges or if they just refuse to turn things around they may receive an early bedtime.
We do not have many household rules. They are quite easy to understand and follow even from a young age. Our rules are:
- Respect Others
- Obey Authority
- Ask Permission
- Be Kind & Peaceful
- Be a Helper
In addition to our behavior chart, we have a blackboard where we remind our children of a different character quality each week. This is not just for them. It helps us to remember that we are also expected to follow God's Word, and that our children will follow our example.
This week we are working on obedience. It really is the foundation for all the other rules. We make it clear in our home, that even as parents, God requires that we obey Him. We need to pursue a life that is pleasing to Him.
Another great way to reinforce the godly behavior is to find Biblical studies that go deeper into the Word. These studies will last a few weeks, but will have a lasting effect.
The study above is from an awesome family over at Not Consumed. It is about obedience. It gives our kids Biblical reasons to obey. By the end of the study, they will want to be obedient. We have also finished another study of theirs called A Content Heart. It touched our hearts and taught our children to be thankful for what they have and not to take anything for granted. Diving into God's word is always a great way to develop a godly attitude and behavior.
The number one thing to remember as we correct our kiddos, is to do it out of love and not anger. They need to feel we are disciplining them because we care for them and we want them to grow into godly adults. Never allow your emotions to get the best of you when your child is showing his sinful side. Stop, pray and ask God to guide you before you say or do something you may regret later. We get much better results use self-control when correcting our kids. When they see us exercising godly character, they will be more willing to listen to our admonishment.
Along with correcting, we must be using words of affirmation when they are caught exhibiting godly character traits. We need to be quick to encourage them. It lets them know what behaviors are acceptable and good.
I don't know about you, but I have to work really hard at this concept. I have to remind myself to encourage my kids on a daily basis. It is just not built in my personality. In my head you are just suppose to do what you are told to do and you shouldn't need a cheerleader, but all personalities are different and some kids thrive on words of encouragement. Some children feel unloved if they are not given words of affirmation everyday.
Some great examples of words of affirmation are: Well done. Great job. Excellent work!
We need to really set out to show our children that we see what they are doing and we are proud of them when they make the right decisions.
Do what is right and good in the Lord's sight, so that it may go well with you and you may go in and take over the good land the LORD promised on oath to your ancestors.
~ Deuteronomy 6:18
~ Deuteronomy 6:18
I would love to hear how you go about correcting and encouraging your children. We can all learn from one another.
My child isn't old enough to really be punished (beyond reinforcing the word "no"), but I've always been a big believer in punishments that fit both the child and crime. My own mother talks about how I was too stubborn to be disciplined by a spanking. I would just take it and continue doing what I wanted. I couldn't be sent to my room because I loved playing in there by myself. They finally learned to make me sit in the hall for time-out. Even I can remember my screams and yells. I hated it...but that worked for me.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, great post!