Do you ever find yourself having the same arguments with your spouse? What are the problems that set off the fights? What are your hot buttons? Is it hard to keep those vows you made on your wedding day?
I know as a wife, who has been married for 23 years, I have some hot button issues. There are things about my husband that just send me into a tizzy. Over the years the Lord has calmed me down and taught me how to be more patient with him, but I won't lie and say there aren't days I want to scream. The main reason for our discord is personality differences. I am a control freak who wants everything neat and tidy and organized. He is more laid back and could care less if there are a few crumbs on the kitchen floor. He forgets to pick up his dirty clothes and to hang up his towel after showering. I, on the other hand, have to have place for everything and everything needs to be in it's place. We both need to work on our issues. I need to be more fun and he needs to be more serious. We have figured this out over the years and we are allowing God to work in us on a daily basis, but we know as God is working, we are still fighting issues that bother us.
As I was reading the book Women Living Well , by Courtney Joseph, I saw some issues that I need to work on as a wife. I need to be more forgiving and less scrutinizing. I need to look for the good in my husband and focus on that instead of the little things that bug me. I need to admit fault when I am in the wrong during arguments. I need to show my husband the love and respect he deserves as the man of our household. I need to be sure I am being a good example to my girls, so they will treat their husbands correctly.
We need to step back, regroup, and pray before we have an argument with our spouse. We need to allow the Holy Spirit to calm our souls. If we don't allow this to happen, we may say or do things we regret in the heat of discussions. Next time you feel things spiraling out of control during a discussion with your spouse, try this formula. Allow God to be your mediator.
We also need to work on keepong the romance alive in our marriages. When we feel love, adored, respected, and admired, we tend to get over the little things that bug us more easily. Do you remember those first dates with your mate, the butterflies in your stomach, the excitement of getting to know that person, and the anticipation of wondering if they are the right man or woman that God has chosen for you to marry? I sure do. I never wanted those feelings to end. I wanted to keep the romance and excitement alive.
After years of marriage, we tend to get really relaxed with our spouses. That is not a bad thing, but we also need to remember that in order to keep the romance alive, we must work at it. We have to plan date nights, get dressed up, and spend quality time wooing our mates.
I want to give you a few ideas how to pursue your mate on a daily basis. It is important to show affection on a daily basis even when life may keep us busy.
1. Always kiss your spouse hello and goodbye.
2. Leave little notes or text you mate with words of affection.
3. Call your mate just to see how their day is going.
4. Greet your love when he or she arrives home from work with a hug.
5. Surprise your spouse with a little gift from the heart.
6. Find time to just sit and talk each evening.
I encourage you to begin these little acts of love today. Be sure to show your affection each and every day. Don't allow life to get in the way of you pursuing your love. Keep praying for your spouse and with your spouse. Be careful not to allow things that bother you to put a wedge between you. Put God first in your relationship. He is the glue that holds our marriages together, even when the storms of life come crashing through trying to destroy us. At the end of the day remember to say "WE STILL DO".